When co-operation seems impossible
HR teams need to co-operate with teams from other functional areas in the interests of organizational efficiency and progress. This is particularly true for development of integrated talent management systems. I was co chairing a project meeting between a team of developers and an HR team of system users. There were just two relatively straightforward agenda items for the meeting, or so I thought: assessing progress in relation to the overall implementation plan and making decisions on issues escalated from the log. In fact, I became more and more uncomfortable as the meeting progressed. I could not identify anything specific in the conversations that indicated conflict but I was aware of a physical tension in myself. I started to pay attention to what was going on in the meeting to try to explain this to myself. Although each team was describing progress in relation to the plan they were also using their interventions to justify their actions as if defending themselves from an implicit criticism. This criticism, although not voiced, was evident in the way it defined each team’s contribution. As the meeting progressed the dynamic became more entrenched and the possibility of creative problem solving was becoming less and less likely. I took a deep breath and tried to voice my experience of what was happening in a non judgmental way: “I don’t know if anyone has noticed the same thing but I sense that everyone is trying to justify themselves and their work in this meeting. It is obvious to me that you have all been working really hard and have made very good progress so this is hard to understand. Has anyone else noticed what is happening now? Is there anything we can do to change this?” I waited and slowly different people made comments that enabled the central conflict to be brought into the open. What followed was a fruitful conversation in which the implementation plan was reality checked and adjusted. By the end of the meeting both teams were able to commit with renewed energy to the revised plan.
‘Use of self’ is a term used in counseling and coaching to explain this kind of intervention. It can be described as an illusive feeling or undefined thought which can sometimes have quite a physical manifestation and this leads to the identification of a truth which otherwise may have remained unidentified. Counselors or coaches may choose or not to make the resulting observation explicit depending on their assessment of its usefulness in the moment.
What is useful
Taking time to be aware of what you are experiencing especially when others are making contributions.
Being aware that what you are experiencing may be an indication of what others are feeling too.
Expressing your own experience of what is happening and owning it in the moment.
Perhaps stating what you would like to happen instead.
Inviting others to share their opinion on your assessment and listening non defensively.
Resources
Irvin D. Yalom ( 2003) The Gift of Therapy: reflections on being a therapist, Piatkus Books
Bluckert, P. (2006) ‘Psychological Dimensions to Executive Coaching’, Open University Press
‘Though little discussed in the coaching literature to date I regard the use of self the highest order coaching skill. It can be the key difference between good and great coaching. An elusive concept and very often difficult to communicate both to students and more experienced coaches, it is nonetheless a crucial aspect of any coaching professional’ s potency and wisdom...” (page 84)