How to make good endings
The number of goings and comings from different groups in organizations is increasing as principles of agile HR, such as working groups formed for time bound projects, are adopted and the use of temporary contracts of all kinds becomes more frequent. I think it is important to honor each person who arrives in a team and each person who leaves for whatever reason. During the Covid pandemic we faced the challenge of arranging a farewell gathering for a valued colleague who was leaving the organization for an exciting next step in her career during an obligatory period of working from home (WFH).
I was apprehensive that moving the ‘farewell’ session on line would not be so effective as an in person gathering but I need not have worried. The coordinators did a great job. An on line collection had facilitated the sending of a gift in the form of ‘goodies’ the opening of which was shared on line. The spoken contributions were as moving as they would have been in person. I was surprised to find myself shedding one or two tears as I was speaking. I am certain that we honored an important milestone for all of us in a meaningful way.
Recognizing the leaving of a colleague is important. Other endings worth marking might include a period of time working in a particular team, on a project, or even the ending of a year of work in the same team. Endings are about coming to terms with loss and the feelings associated with loss can be inherently painful depending on how we have experienced them in the past. The temptation is to deny these feelings and gloss over them perhaps with a focus on the celebratory aspects of endings or by rushing on the to the next project, job or team. A well managed ending which allows for the expression of positive feelings and the more ambivalent or difficult ones has many benefits:
We are facilitating the expression of more difficult and ambivalent feelings which if not expressed can prevent positive reflection on the experience in the future, thus affecting future productivity.
We are celebrating the highlights of a person, project or team over a period of time. This is an endorphin releasing activity in my view and provides recognition of someone’s work which can be insufficient in many organizations.
The process allows all stakeholders some form of closure and facilitates moving on to new projects, teams or organizations with less ‘baggage’ than if no recognition or sharing occurred.
What helps
Asking the people who worked closely with the leaver to prepare some thoughts to share in the gathering which include the good memories, the not so good and what could have been done but was not.
If you have a leadership role in the team or even supervised the leaver prepare a similar reflection yourself giving as genuine and thoughtful account as possible. (This may require some work as unacknowledged ambivalence about the fact that someone is leaving you and your team may make this a challenge.)
Make space to mention what was left undone or what was not achieved although it may have been very desirable.
Allow time and encourage the person leaving to respond with her or his own reflections
If parting gifts are part of your ritual, making sure these are as meaningful as possible and reflect a feature of the work, or interests or character of the person leaving.
Resources
Berrow, G (2009) ‘Ending Well’ Why good endings are important in coaching. Coaching at Work Magazine
